You’re running late. Despite your best preparation efforts, the kids still don’t have their shoes on, someone’s already spilled cereal all over the floor, and somehow, everything has been pulled out of the cupboard! (even though you got the uniforms out the night before.)
Or maybe it’s the work version of this.
Your inbox is overflowing, you’ve already had three urgent emails, but you can’t actually get to them because you’ve got yet another meeting starting in two minutes!.
Worse still, at some point, amidst all of this everyday chaos, youve probably had the thought: “This level of stress cannot be good. If I don’t sort it out, im going to end up with some awful stress-related disease!”
Well it turns out your not alone in that thought, research tells up thats actually a really common thing to think.
We all know the analogy—how modern-day stress from emails, deadlines, and life pressure is akin to being chased by a tiger. So I won’t bore you with that explanation again. But simply put, chronic stress is just not how we’ve evolved to operate. Our systems are not designed to handle a relentless stream of stress without periods of genuine recovery.
The trouble is, our nervous system doesn’t differentiate between an actual life-threatening situation and yet another email requiring us to problem-solve, or to remember a new password, or figure out how to get through that never ending little list of daily micro-tasks and ‘Ladmin’ (thats life admin)
So, I want to talk about the nervous system—how it works, why it sometimes feels like were constantly running on high alert, and, crucially, how we can downregulate it. Because while running off to live in a log cabin in the woods might sound appealing at times, turns out there are far more realistic ways to shift our nervous system, some of them only taking a few seconds.
No need to pack in the career just yet!
Understanding Our Nervous System:
Our nervous system has two main settings that control how we respond to stress:
The Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS)
This is our ‘fight or flight’ response. It kicks in when we’re under threat (real or perceived), increasing our heart rate, tensing our muscles, and flooding our body with adrenaline.
Excellent if we need to escape a predator.
Less helpful when we’re just trying to find our car keys—while a child is whinging about being bored or needed a snack
The Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS)
This is our ‘rest and digest’ state. It’s responsible for recovery, healing, and all those bodily functions that only happen when we’re relaxed. If our SNS is the accelerator, our PNS is the brakes.
Unfortunately though many of us are permanently stuck with the accelerator down.
And, at the risk of being alarmist, an increasing body of research is beginning to link nervous system disruption to long-term health conditions.
And sadly, this was my lived experience during a period of four years of being unwell when my children were first born.
I was chronically unwell.
It wasnt just exhaustion from parenting it was something deeper, something my body was screaming at me about.
I experienced a relentless cycle of symptoms: chronic pain, intense gut issues, extreme fatigue from around 11am each day, horrid temperature regulation problems, brain fog, and more.
I went through multiple doctor visits, each time hoping for answers, only to be met with judgemental stares, misdiagnoses, or prescription drugs that made things worse.
No one seemed to know what was wrong.
No one seemed to take it seriously. (Cue years of medical trama building through essentially being told at every appointment I was simply anxious)
Years later, I now understand that I am a neurodivergent woman, and that, like many other high-masking autistic people, my body was expressing my nervous system dysregulation in physical symptoms. This isn that uncommon. Many neurodivergent people have highly sensitive nervous systems, and when we live in a world that isnt set up for us, our bodies bear the cost.
For years, I unknowingly pushed myself through a life designed for someone with a different nervous system constantly wondering why I was breaking into a thousand pieces.
The medical profession gaslit me into believing there was nothing wrong. I was in daily pain, unable to finction and yet I was told it was just anxiety.
At my worst, I developed health anxiety, which is hardly surprising when you’re in agony and no one believes you. It reached a breaking point where I experienced suicidal ideation, not just because of the suffering, but because I genuinely believed my children would be better off without a mother who was so chronically unwell.
That’s how deep the invalidation cuts when your nervous system is constantly misfiring, and the world tells you it’s all in your head.
It turns out that nervous system regulation isn’t just a nice wellness practice its critical.
And thats exactly why I do this work.
This is why I trained in Sound therapy and now teach restorative yoga, and Reiki.
I have lived through the cost of nervous system dysregulation.
I have felt, in my own body the health consequences of a system that never truly rests.
And even now, as a parent of a SEN child it’s something I navigate daily.
For some of us, nervous system care isn’t just about reducing stress its about constantly staying well.
And of course, this level of care to our nervous system health supports ALL nervous systems not just hypertensive neuro divergent ones
Understanding Polyvagal Theory
Polyvagal Theory is a neurophysiological framework developed by Dr. Stephen Porges in the 1990s. It builds on existing knowledge of the autonomic nervous system (ANS) but introduces a new understanding of how our nervous system responds to safety, danger, and life threat.
While Porges is credited with developing and articulating the theory, its principles draw on broader neuroscience and psychophysiology, making it more of an evolving framework than an exclusive, proprietary concept.
History
Before Polyvagal Theory, the ANS was typically understood in a binary way:
1. Sympathetic nervous system (SNS) – linked to ‘fight or flight’ responses.
2. Parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) – associated with ‘rest and digest.’
Porges expanded this by identifying a third branch of the autonomic nervous system: the social engagement system, regulated by the vagus nerve, which plays a role in how we connect with others, feel safe, and recover from stress.
His work reshaped our understanding of trauma, stress responses, and emotional regulation, emphasizing that our nervous system doesn’t just switch between ‘on’ (fight/flight) and ‘off’ (rest/digest). Instead, it operates in a hierarchical way, influenced by evolutionary adaptations.
Three States
Three States of the Autonomic Nervous System
• Ventral Vagal State (Safe & Social) – When we feel safe, our nervous system supports connection, digestion, and healing.
• Sympathetic State (Fight or Flight) – When we perceive danger, the system mobilizes energy to fight or flee.
• Dorsal Vagal State (Shutdown/Freeze) – If danger feels inescapable, the system defaults to immobilization, dissociation, or collapse.
(This was me in burnout)
‘Neuroception’
• This term, coined by Porges, refers to how our nervous system unconsciously scans the environment for safety or threat.
• Unlike perception, which is cognitive, neuroception happens below conscious awareness and can be shaped by trauma.
The Role of the Vagus Nerve
• The vagus nerve (Cranial Nerve X) is central to Polyvagal Theory.
• It has two pathways:
• The ventral vagal branch, which promotes calm and social engagement.
• The dorsal vagal branch, which is responsible for shutdown and dissociation when extreme stress occurs.
Who uses Polyvagel?
Polyvagal Theory has been widely adopted in trauma therapy, somatic practices, bodywork, and holistic healing. It has influenced fields such as psychology, psychotherapy, yoga, and even sound healing, as certain frequencies and vibrations can help shift the nervous system into a more regulated state.
While Porges is the originator, the theory itself isn’t owned in a proprietary sense—it’s a general framework used across disciplines. However, interpretations and applications vary.
For more information on Porges’ work, you can explore The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory: The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe (2017), which offers an accessible introduction to how our autonomic nervous system shapes our experiences of safety, connection, and resilience.
The key to nervous system health isn’t about avoiding stress altogether (because, let’s face it, that’s not happening). It’s about learning how to move out of survival mode and into a state of safety and regulation—without needing a two-week retreat in the bahamas!
Quick Ways to Downregulate Your Nervous System (Takes Seconds)
Good news: We don’t need an hour of meditation a day to shift our nervous system.
The following micro-adjustments take seconds but can send a powerful signal to our body that we’re not actually in danger.
✔ Drop your shoulders and soften your face – Your body constantly sends signals to your brain. When your shoulders are up by your ears and your jaw is locked, your nervous system assumes something’s wrong. Consciously relaxing these areas can immediately start the downregulation process.
✔ Breathe out for longer than you breathe in – The vagus nerve (which helps activate the PNS) responds to long exhales. Try inhaling for four counts and exhaling for six. It’s like an instant ‘off’ switch for panic mode.
✔ Humming, sighing, or making a ‘Voo’ sound – These stimulate the vagus nerve and shift us towards a parasympathetic state.
✔ Look around and name five things you can immediately see – When your nervous system is in threat mode, your vision narrows. Expanding your awareness tells your brain you’re safe. Try scanning the room and mentally naming five things around you. (This one is so painfully simple that it’s often overlooked. But even in its simplicity, it’s quite powerful.)
Longer-Term Practices for a Resilient Nervous System
While quick resets are useful, regular practices train our nervous system to be more adaptable. These require a little more time, but they’re worth it.
Restorative Yoga
Unlike dynamic yoga styles, restorative yoga is about deep rest. Long-held, fully supported postures and deep breathing send a clear message to our nervous system: We are safe. Over time, this helps build resilience, allowing us to recover from stress more easily.
Gong Journeys (Sound Therapy)
Sound therapy works because it bypasses the thinking brain and speaks directly to the nervous system. Gongs, in particular, create complex overtones that shift brainwaves into a meditative state—without effort. If meditation feels impossible, lying down in a sound journey could be our shortcut.
Try it now—drop your shoulders, take a slow exhale, and soften your jaw. Feels different, doesn’t it?
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